Mom Guilt, Imposter Syndrome, and Never Enough

Updated: May 27, 2020

When was the last time that you thought you didn't get enough done?

That you weren't a good enough parent?

That you weren't a good enough partner?

That you weren't good enough at your job?

That you weren't enough because of *insert your trigger for thinking you're not good enough*?

What did you do when it happened? Did you tell yourself that's not true?

Or did you tell yourself you have to hustle more so you won't feel inadequate? Perhaps you told yourself that even if you hustle you might not get there.

All humans get "not enough" thoughts. It's a thought option the human brain offers us. And so much of our society is geared to supporting that thought.  

It does not mean that anything has gone wrong.

It does not mean that you aren't good enough.

And hustling to try and become "enough" at whatever it is isn't the cure. 

That's why doctors who have done 20,000 hours of hands-on training struggle with imposter syndrome.

That's why mom guilt sticks around even when moms do "all the things".

It's why some of the hardest working people in the world never feel like they're doing enough.

Because feeling inadequate comes from our thoughts, not from our reality. And our human brains have been thinking these thoughts for a very long time.

You might think that thinking we haven't done enough is useful. You might think that recognizing that we're not doing enough is what drives us to perform better. 

But that's not true. The thoughts "I can do better" and "I want to do better" gives us confidence and motivation to do more. But the thoughts "I haven't done enough" or "I'm not good enough" make it harder to get the result we want because it cuts us down rather than building us up.

Think about the last time you felt inadequate. How was your performance?

Were you calm, collected, focused, and committed? Or were you rushed, distracted, and irritable?

Now think about the last time you felt confident. How was your performance? 

I bet it was much better. And I can almost guarantee you weren't thinking "I'm not enough" or "I haven't done enough". 

Even when people recognize that thinking they're not enough isn't helping them reach their goals, they often don't realize it's optional.

Our brains offer us tens of thousands of thoughts a day. We get to decide which ones we choose believe.

It may not feel like it at first because our brains have usually been thinking and believing these thoughts for decades.

It takes some time and energy to reprogram our old thought aren't creating the life and results that we want. But it is possible, and it is worth it. It's the secret to feeling better and creating ALL of the results you wish you had but haven't managed to create yet. 

The first step to reprogramming our old "not enough" thoughts is to recognize that they aren't getting you where you want to go and start recognizing they are just thoughts and they are optional.

With love,


To learn more about how self-judgement holds us back, check out my article The Judgement Myth: How Judgement Gets in the Way of Your Best Results.

To find out more about the benefits of working with a life coach, check out my blog post What is a Life Coach and Who Would Benefit From Coaching?

To learn more about what life coaching could do for you, sign up for a free consult.

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